Why small, "external", transient houses need to built?
Why can't I just go to my "unfinished castle"?
What dust do I need to settle - what stone-temples need I?
Where else do I need to build my muscles?
Am I not already built enough?
He wants me to prepare well, just in case (very likely) I am not yet!
The tears that flow away,
make me yearn for you, ache for you more,
pray you, find you, wait for you more -
ever more than before!
As the tear drip down like my self
down an abyss to yours -
I am waiting for this marriage to happen!
There are hundreds of things that fall just right
so this marriage happens!
And why not - would I not to have to experience
all the thoughts, options, other paths -
so that the marriage happens!
Salt washing away all the accumulants
Vomit vomitting out all the desires
All ambitions, plans, conditionals, "ifs"
seem to get discarded way
in the land of vastness and emptiness -
the land of fulfilment is up there -
but how far?
The wait is too painstaking and challenging at times.
The stage is set, the characters, props, lights, billboards
everything is there!
The moment of truth (collections of truths) is there but still far!
I am sure
You will come to me, drift me away, possess me, haunt me
challenge me, love me, fly me away -
and take to your land of certainties -
the land of explosions, strategies, methods, and contradictions -
of flabby sheaves which "perhaps" microlocally are rigid enough
to vanish some maps and contradict some strategies and
blow the river away - out from the realm of tangibility
my Mom and Dad are waiting for this marriage to happen!
The clock is "ticking"!
In continuing discussion around filmography, I ventured into something exciting recently. I earlier thought about filmography quite abstractly and non-concretely, such as here and here. Though there is no end to such questions, I made a film recently which brought many themes from these posts live.
The movie is here.
The key bit in this movie is from 0:53 to 1:33.
The process involved creating a series of AI generated frames with varying (increasing) order of death/life ratio. The "death" essence refers to images where the interpretation is that the face-like sculpture tends towards an explosion, and the "life" essence refers to the images where the face-like sculpture is more static, alive, and like life. The key bit was intermixing a set of 20 images (with different degrees of death/life ratio) in the background with 3D renders of the sculpture (created using Photogrammetry). The 3D renders of the sculpture are less life-like compared to the face-like sculpture (which in fact is very morphed version of the real sculpture built by Binghui Song). The mathematical sequence of the addition of face-like AI generated images is in a quadratically decreasing time gaps, which gives the viewers an immediate sense of the explosion. A 5 seconds of gap before the "final explosion" makes the final frame feel like more loud than what I thought it would give, hereby, classifying this as an "art piece", built from philosophical and artistic foundations, I think that this has completed the objective that I had set forth for myself.
A countless other questions remain:
1. What is the durability of such an artform? Can it survive few decades, if not centuries?
2. How to perfectly document the aestheticization of politics around this art, because of the fact that the creation was aimed for presentation at COP29, Baku?
The space - a "possible" bed for you to flow,
once pushed, to walk, run, sprint,
respecting the rules and the conditions,
however, it is up to me to design the bed -
in the sharpest and most encompassing way possible -
so that all your untruthfulness gets exposed -
whilst you cry out there with tears telling the truth -
the truth of your sprint -
of how the sprint wasn't just
regular, smooth, or existent -
it was all with emotions, uncertainty, and surprises -
so much so that neither you nor me had courage to describe it -
all we could do (r.a.a.) possibly is show that it's non-existent -
because if it was existent,
then,
we would have already seen it long time back.
There is a lot bad in being good,
intrusive thoughts, OCD'd thoughts,
thoughts that makes us humans, with flaws,
away from the perfection or God-ness
that also exist somewhere.
It is all bad, for it is all good:
can there be good without bad, and vice-versa.
There are some "ideal" solutions to the conundrum,
and the conundrum lies here:
Exactly! Above there.
Dreams, desires, plans
material, even immaterial -
abstractions, theorems, proofs,
Langlands,
all things consumes me -
for the sanity of me!
But something is missing at the core:
despite being an addiction or love to the form,
a "being" that is me, and not the form, is missing!
I am missing, for me, being consumed all in the form!
It is hard to tell what that "me" is.
There is a "mother", "father" element of me.
There is a friends, families, colleagues, mentor element of me.
There is an actor, preacher, curator, political element of me.
There is perhaps a businessman and people's man element of me.
But all of it misses "me", and that "me" is
this above: the thing in the line above!
The absence that I truly desire!
