On the first Sunday of August, Indians celebrate Friendship day.
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Today is Sunday. While finishing up with my experiments (ah! bygone weekend ), I got a notification that my friend Eshan has written an ode to his friend (Immensely touching- the first line, especially!). Aping this emotional outlet method (chronologically I wrote it before due to different time zones), I thought of giving it a try and defining what does friendship mean to me?
----
So, let's switch on the accelerator, and start the emotional rollercoaster ride on with one of the latest track sung by Arijit- Tera Yaar Hoon Main.
Being an introvert, I rarely had friends before. All my life revolved around myself. Infact, I hated people as I was taught that the strangers are no good to befriend. So, the first sense of friendship came as a bliss to me, but in figments. It was an assumption that moved me, that the person I met is my friend. Not trying to make it my story, I think the best thing about a potentially enduring relationship is the abstract idea of magical attachment it endows with itself. You feel it first and start expressing it later. Within the clutches of your social interaction limits, you set the boundaries of your friendship. For me, that boundary starts with zero value (introvert again!). Setting the payoff to zero makes it clear that you are giving no space for any new disturbance in your life. But then, I am bewildered how that boundary starts expanding. It happens itself and these moments are purely countable and very few in your life. You never need to start being a friend of someone; it just happens. The circumstances and trajectories of your life go hand in hand, so parallel, with someone (coincidental is supposedly marriage) that makes you question for the coming years- how did we meet. Isn't it like a dream? You never realize how it started and when you realize that, you are in the middle. I think this well supports that friendships and dreams arise out of your subconscious mind. Your hidden fears, expectations, goals, and problems all come up together to make your subconscious talk to that person in a particularly intriguing fashion. Your subconscious mind is well designed to make you progress ahead in life. So it behaves quite differently with every other person. The moment it resonates with someone, it becomes gold. The relationship becomes pristinely obscure enough to well put into words. That's why friendships are so fulfiling- like dreams, they are meant to push you further towards going ahead in your life and winning the unconquered battles. Friendship is ultimately meant to give meaning to your dreams.
Keeping up with this utility of friendship- a good bond between people help them to attain new vibrational plane of mental and spiritual energy. Every new phase of life demands new of you. A new friendship with someone prepares you for that.
My approach towards this relationship has been quite abstract in many terms. In my high school years, I just started assuming that the person is my friend. Then I started pushing my frontiers to the next level to make myself compatible to be a friend of hers. It went well with the sour-sweet taste. Then the senior school demanded a new friend and inadvertently I forgot the previous liaison. Again, I didn't advance. But passively, I started working with him towards our set goal and in the process, became good friends. Repeating this process several times over made me capable enough to summarize the facets of this relationship that fascinate me the most.
There are two rules you have to understand:- a) It's going to end someday/month/year/decade. b) You need to give your heart into its sanctity. Some people think that life-long friendships are bliss. No, it's not! It's probably receding (Marriage is receding too, but that happens after so much of advancing that the hysteresis is quite high that you are capable enough to set your equilibrium anywhere in between). Every friendship comes with its expiry date. But you have to be passionate enough to invest all your brain and heart into it, as this friendship is meant to uplift both of you. Surprisingly, an upgrade doesn't happen with anyone. In fact, very few people benefit from their friendship. There are several reasons for that (can't specify in order to make this article positive in reading and not going into perils of unhealthy relationships). Most of the people think that being friends means hanging out with each other, enjoying the materialistic parameters of life, and understanding each other. I think these are stupid things to do in a friendship. Brute force method towards strengthening your bond never works well. In addition, finding the same taste in a new friendship as in a previous one is quite futile an attempt. Friendship for me is: doing nothing. I just sit back and start assuming that the person is my friend. If you ask me who are my current friends; I have a big list comprising of existing stalwarts like Malala Yousafzai- a female right activist, Elon Musk- a polymath, and many researchers. But bear with me for such diversion; I assume approachable people as friends too ;) In that sense, friendship for me means walking through the same phase of life with them, having fun in the process of solving each other's troubles, motivating each other, strengthening your desire to live life passionately, love or being loved by them like never before, attempting things never done before, letting them bring a change in you, and finding meaning in your silences. Learning from each other, sharing experiences and being self-less throughout in this approach make the most out of it.
Lastly, bear in mind that it will end, so be prepared for that. After that, don't lose contact, but don't force (can you stop yourself- no in this digital age) upon refurbishing the contact. If you again happen to meet again in a different phase of life while facing new problems, you might patch up again. But never try to put impetus onto it.
I don't want to put some conclusion to this article. Maybe next year, I will add more to it when I mature more. In a few lines, I misconstrued friendship with love as they aren't entirely mutually exclusive.
To be continued..
----
Today is Sunday. While finishing up with my experiments (ah! bygone weekend ), I got a notification that my friend Eshan has written an ode to his friend (Immensely touching- the first line, especially!). Aping this emotional outlet method (chronologically I wrote it before due to different time zones), I thought of giving it a try and defining what does friendship mean to me?
----
So, let's switch on the accelerator, and start the emotional rollercoaster ride on with one of the latest track sung by Arijit- Tera Yaar Hoon Main.
Being an introvert, I rarely had friends before. All my life revolved around myself. Infact, I hated people as I was taught that the strangers are no good to befriend. So, the first sense of friendship came as a bliss to me, but in figments. It was an assumption that moved me, that the person I met is my friend. Not trying to make it my story, I think the best thing about a potentially enduring relationship is the abstract idea of magical attachment it endows with itself. You feel it first and start expressing it later. Within the clutches of your social interaction limits, you set the boundaries of your friendship. For me, that boundary starts with zero value (introvert again!). Setting the payoff to zero makes it clear that you are giving no space for any new disturbance in your life. But then, I am bewildered how that boundary starts expanding. It happens itself and these moments are purely countable and very few in your life. You never need to start being a friend of someone; it just happens. The circumstances and trajectories of your life go hand in hand, so parallel, with someone (coincidental is supposedly marriage) that makes you question for the coming years- how did we meet. Isn't it like a dream? You never realize how it started and when you realize that, you are in the middle. I think this well supports that friendships and dreams arise out of your subconscious mind. Your hidden fears, expectations, goals, and problems all come up together to make your subconscious talk to that person in a particularly intriguing fashion. Your subconscious mind is well designed to make you progress ahead in life. So it behaves quite differently with every other person. The moment it resonates with someone, it becomes gold. The relationship becomes pristinely obscure enough to well put into words. That's why friendships are so fulfiling- like dreams, they are meant to push you further towards going ahead in your life and winning the unconquered battles. Friendship is ultimately meant to give meaning to your dreams.
Keeping up with this utility of friendship- a good bond between people help them to attain new vibrational plane of mental and spiritual energy. Every new phase of life demands new of you. A new friendship with someone prepares you for that.
My approach towards this relationship has been quite abstract in many terms. In my high school years, I just started assuming that the person is my friend. Then I started pushing my frontiers to the next level to make myself compatible to be a friend of hers. It went well with the sour-sweet taste. Then the senior school demanded a new friend and inadvertently I forgot the previous liaison. Again, I didn't advance. But passively, I started working with him towards our set goal and in the process, became good friends. Repeating this process several times over made me capable enough to summarize the facets of this relationship that fascinate me the most.
There are two rules you have to understand:- a) It's going to end someday/month/year/decade. b) You need to give your heart into its sanctity. Some people think that life-long friendships are bliss. No, it's not! It's probably receding (Marriage is receding too, but that happens after so much of advancing that the hysteresis is quite high that you are capable enough to set your equilibrium anywhere in between). Every friendship comes with its expiry date. But you have to be passionate enough to invest all your brain and heart into it, as this friendship is meant to uplift both of you. Surprisingly, an upgrade doesn't happen with anyone. In fact, very few people benefit from their friendship. There are several reasons for that (can't specify in order to make this article positive in reading and not going into perils of unhealthy relationships). Most of the people think that being friends means hanging out with each other, enjoying the materialistic parameters of life, and understanding each other. I think these are stupid things to do in a friendship. Brute force method towards strengthening your bond never works well. In addition, finding the same taste in a new friendship as in a previous one is quite futile an attempt. Friendship for me is: doing nothing. I just sit back and start assuming that the person is my friend. If you ask me who are my current friends; I have a big list comprising of existing stalwarts like Malala Yousafzai- a female right activist, Elon Musk- a polymath, and many researchers. But bear with me for such diversion; I assume approachable people as friends too ;) In that sense, friendship for me means walking through the same phase of life with them, having fun in the process of solving each other's troubles, motivating each other, strengthening your desire to live life passionately, love or being loved by them like never before, attempting things never done before, letting them bring a change in you, and finding meaning in your silences. Learning from each other, sharing experiences and being self-less throughout in this approach make the most out of it.
Lastly, bear in mind that it will end, so be prepared for that. After that, don't lose contact, but don't force (can you stop yourself- no in this digital age) upon refurbishing the contact. If you again happen to meet again in a different phase of life while facing new problems, you might patch up again. But never try to put impetus onto it.
I don't want to put some conclusion to this article. Maybe next year, I will add more to it when I mature more. In a few lines, I misconstrued friendship with love as they aren't entirely mutually exclusive.
To be continued..
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