The next challenge

A challenge posed by you
excited me -
for the problem that you framed,
kept me ON, running, in loops,
days and nights of endless mind-fight,
thanks to the problem that you framed -
I was on it, the whole night!

But now, I am all alone
that problem practically inaccessible to me,
all I am left with is a yearning for the feeling
that I got from your problem -
oh God, I don't believe in God, what do I believe in?
I believe in nothing now - I am numb, my nerves are wrecking,
I am falling apart, my eyes in tears, my body falling apart, 
as if something is lying hidden somewhere, I am in search of 'you' -
what is you, if not a problem posed by someone?
I am beyond the intellectual systems now -
I do not subscribe to prize problems that you frame -
there are ideas that excite me - but they are transient.

I am in a state, where all I have is feeling of what I felt before.
I can not describe it here, nor I can pass it on to someone else.
The feeling is hard to describe now, for I do not have it now.
All I can do now is to create - create that feeling again.
Find a problem, as convoluted as Navier-Stokes, and feel alive again.
Creating problems is more godly than worshipping an already created problem.
Oh God, if there is a God, then I have lost my feeling of faith in you -
all I have now is a constant yearning to create my own God -
a problem that I can worship, ruminate upon, trust entirely my systems in,

something that keeps me ON for my entire life! :)