Can afford to be shallow - Part 1

There was a time
when flowing water meant million things to me -
fluids, neural circuits, poetry, love and what not!

But now, I am shallow. I see it as nothing but "flowing water".

There was a time

when layers of clouds meant million things to me -

diffraction, stories, faces and what not!

But now, I am shallow. I see it as nothing but "just clouds".

At that time, I had nothing, so I was living my true self.
A philosophically-troubled thinker who is deep into things.
Sleepless nights, countless dreams, infinite plans and no fears.
No setbacks, no expectations and no burden.
I was true. I was into myself.

As I deal more with real world - grants, funds, jobs and "reaching out".
I lose my inner self.
I do remember vestiges of my inner self -
it comes out once in a while and lays dormant for rest of the time.

I don't live in my abstract world anymore. 

On top of all that, I can afford to be shallow.
But how long this will last?

A time will come, when world will challenge me.
Punch me into my face and ask me to face it upfront.
I still might work hard and continue to afford to be shallow.
But is this what I want?

Not really.